MiTalk.org: Mental Health Issues on Campus: Perfectionism

Perfectionism

PLEASE NOTE: The information in this web site is not intended as a substitute for medical or mental health care advice.

Did you know?

What’s on this page:

› Did you know?
› Perfectionism: How Does it Feel?
› The Vicious Cycle of Perfectionism and Self Esteem
› Consequences of Perfectionism

How to help yourself

Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of trying to be perfect. When you make your own list of costs and benefits, you may find that the costs are too great. You may discover that the anxiety, nervousness, feelings of inadequacy, self-criticism, etc. actually outweigh whatever advantages perfectionism holds for you.
Increase your awareness of the self-critical nature of your all-or-nothing thoughts, and how they extend to other people in your life. Learn to substitute more realistic, reasonable thoughts when you find yourself having critical ones about yourself or others. Force yourself to look at and acknowledge the good parts of every performance regardless of whether or not you feel you or others have succeeded or not.
Set realistic and reachable goals based on your own wants and needs and what you have accomplished in the past. By setting more realistic goals, you will gradually realize that “imperfect” results do not lead to the punitive consequences you expect and fear. This will enable you to achieve and also will lead to a greater sense of self-esteem.
Set subsequent goals in a sequential manner. As you reach a goal, set your next goal one level beyond your present level of accomplishment.
Set strict time limits on each of your projects. When the time is up, move on and attend to another activity. This technique reduces the procrastination that typically results from perfectionism.
Learn how to deal with criticism. Perfectionists often view criticism as a personal attack, responding to it defensively. Concentrate on being more objective about the criticism, and about yourself. If someone criticizes you for making a mistake, acknowledge the mistake and assert your right to make mistakes.
See mistakes as an opportunity to learn. When you make a mistake ask, “What can I learn from this experience?”
Experiment with your standards for success. Choose any activity and instead of aiming for 100 percent, try for 90 percent, 80 percent, or even 60 percent success. This will help you to realize that the world does not end when you are not perfect.
Focus on the process of doing an activity and not just on the end result. Evaluate your success not only in terms of what you accomplished but also in terms of how much you enjoyed the task. Recognize that there can be value in the process of pursuing a goal.
Avoid all-or-none thinking in relation to your goals. Learn to give high priority to some tasks and lesser priority to others. On less important tasks, choose to put forth less effort. Once you have tried these suggestions, you are likely to realize that perfectionism is not a helpful or necessary influence in your life.

Every year, the first year class at the University of Michigan is full of students from around the state, country and world who have achieved some of the highest grades, standardized test scores, and awards available. For example, the average high school GPA for the entering class of 2007 was 3.8, and more than 92% of freshmen ranked in the top 10% of their high school graduating class. Without a doubt, U-M campuses are full of bright students, academic pressures, and high expectations for success. However, contrary to popular belief, perfection is not required to succeed.

Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough, that you “could have done better?”
Do you find yourself completing your papers or projects at the last minute, waiting to make them just right?
Do you feel you must give more than 100% on everything you do or else you will be mediocre or even a failure in comparison to others?

If so, rather than simply working toward success, you may be trying to be perfect, and there exists quite a difference between aiming for a successful life and trying to achieve perfection.

What’s the difference between a Perfectionist and a Healthy Striver?

Perfectionism: How Does it Feel?

Of course we all way to be successful and produce good work in our everyday lives. Setting high expectations can be motivating and quite healthy. However, when taken to the extreme, our productivity can actually decrease. Perfectionists frequently experience many of the symptoms listed below:

Fear of failure. Perfectionists often equate failure to achieve their goals with a lack of personal worth or value.
Fear of making mistakes. Perfectionists often equate mistakes with failure. In orienting their lives around avoiding mistakes, perfectionists miss opportunities to learn and grow.
Fear of disapproval. If they let others see their flaws, perfectionists often fear that they will no longer be accepted. Trying to be perfect is a way of trying to protect themselves from criticism, rejection, and disapproval.
All-or-none thinking. Perfectionists frequently believe that they are worthless if their accomplishments are not perfect. Perfectionists have difficulty seeing situations in perspective. For example, a straight “A” student who receives a “B” might believe, “I am a total failure.”
Overemphasis on “shoulds.” Perfectionists’ lives are often structured by an endless list of “shoulds” that serve as rigid rules for how their lives must be led. With such an overemphasis on shoulds, perfectionists rarely take into account their own wants and desires.
Believing that others are easily successful. Perfectionists tend to perceive others as achieving success with a minimum of effort, few errors, emotional stress, and maximum self-confidence. At the same time, perfectionists view their own efforts as unending and forever inadequate.

The Vicious Cycle of Perfectionism and Self Esteem

If you are a perfectionist, it is likely that you learned early in life that other people valued you because of how much you accomplished or achieved, meaning you may have learned to value yourself only on the basis of other people’s approval. Thus your self-esteem may have come to be based primarily on external standards. This can leave you vulnerable and excessively sensitive to the opinions and criticism of others. In attempting to protect yourself from such criticism, you may decide that being perfect is your only defense. Below is the cycle perfectionists often find themselves experiencing and some other consequences of perfectionism.

First, perfectionists set unreachable goals, failure is inevitable.
They fail to meet these goals because the goals were impossible to begin with.
The constant pressure to achieve perfection and the inevitable chronic failure reduce productivity and effectiveness.
This cycle leads perfectionists to be self-critical and self-blaming which results in lower self-esteem. It may also lead to anxiety and depression.
Perfectionists may give up completely on their goals and set different goals thinking, “This time if only I try harder I will succeed.” Such thinking sets the entire cycle in motion again.

Consequences of Perfectionism