Chris’s Story: Being Away From My Twin

Growing up with a twin with a chronic condition — a congenital heart disease — has dictated much of what I do in life. When Jim and I were little, we never thought much about his heart, except for that he had to take medicine everyday. When we were old enough to play sports, Jim’s doctor told him he couldn’t play many, and I remember that we didn’t really understand why. I vividly remember always feeling bad that I was able to do more things than him, and I hated when he would say to me, “No one even knows who I am. I’m not Jim, I’m just  Chris’s brother’ to everyone.”

Despite this, Jim found sports that he could play and excelled at them. In fact, he was pretty healthy until we started high school, which is when he started having complications. His heart would beat so fast at times that it would make him pass out. The doctor’s knew what was causing it, but didn’t know how to control it. His black-out spells continued well into college, and I dreaded when my cell phone caller ID read “HOME” because I was always afraid it was going to be bad news. There were many times I wanted to rush home, and felt so guilty when I couldn’t because I didn’t have a car or I had too much work to do.

During my senior year of college, my brother came to visit and he sat me down and told me that he might have to have a heart transplant. Never before had he sat me down to talk about his heart, and I knew that he was scared. Luckily, he didn’t have to have a transplant, and the doctors decided on open heart surgery instead. I remember that his surgery was scheduled the week before my honors thesis was due. It was probably one of the most stressful times in my life. I remember having to sit in the hospital writing my thesis by hand because I didn’t have a laptop. I hated seeing Jim in so much pain, and if it wasn’t for the support of his girlfriend, our family, my friends, and the understanding of my professors, I don’t think I would have made it through that week. It was a rough six-week recovery for Jim, but he has been doing well since, and no longer has any limitations on his physical activity.

Watching my brother grow up with his condition has been amazing. I remember once he was being pressured to drink alcohol by some friends, and he simply turned to them and said, “I can’t drink because of my heart, so leave me alone.” He has always been very open about his condition and able to stand up for himself. In fact, I don’t think I have never been more proud of someone.